THE PROBLEM WITH SAINTS

I wish that Joan of Arc wouldn’t hang around the park

Pronouncing that she won’t get burned again

Her armour’s very shiny and her message is divine

But I wish she’d take a day off now and then

She said it clears your head when you come back from the

dead

With your sword as sharp as anything that cuts

And to prove it she bisected three young tourists from

Utrecht

Which rapidly displayed a lot of guts

She says we need to

raise a brand new army

And the flag of France

so proudly she unfurled

And the people that

she hated will be neatly bifurcated

And the British will

no longer rule the world

(She says) it was a mistake to let them burn her at the

stake

And she learned a lesson back there in the flames

So she’s going to kill the queen and then she’ll rescue Old

Orleans

And it’s really hard to hang around with saints

I think I ought to tell her that the English left in failure

And they don’t go back to France except on hols

But I saw her vivisect a man who wanted to correct her --

And the playground soon resembled grand guignol

She says we need to

raise a brand new army

And she marched us

round until we couldn’t stand

She says the nation

she abhors will soon be writhing on the floor

And the British will

no longer rule her land

And she’s waiting for the dauphin who will come across the

ocean,

And knows that God agrees with her complaints

So I’m hoping that she’ll ignore my English accent in her

war

‘Cause it’s really hard to hang around with saints

She says we need to

raise a brand new army

And the flag of France

so proudly she unfurled

And the people that

she hated will be neatly bifurcated

And the British will

no longer rule

the British will no longer rule

the British will no longer rule the

world!