A TRIP TO INDIA

WHO WAS GUY FAWKES?

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NICE TO MEET YOU

QUEEN OF DENMARK, by John Grant

I wanted to change the world,
But I could not even change my underwear.
And when the shit got really, really out of hand,
I had it all the way up to my hairline,
Which keeps receding like my self-confidence--
As if I ever had any of that stuff anyway.
I hope I didn't destroy your celebration,
Or your Bat Mitzvah, birthday party or your Christmas.
You put me in this cage and threw away the key.
It was this 'us and them' shit that did me in.
You tell me that my life is based upon a lie.
I casually mention that I pissed in your coffee.
I hope you know that all I want from you is sex,
To be with someone who looks smashing in athletic wear.
And if your haircut isn't right, you'll be dismissed.
You'll get your walking papers and "You can leave now."

I don't know what to want from this world.
I really don't know what to want from this world.
I don't know what it is you want to want from me.
You really have no right to want anything from me at all.
Why don't you take it out on somebody else?
Why don't you bore the shit out of somebody else?
Why don't you tell somebody else that they're selfish,
A weakling, coward, a pathetic fraud?

Who's gonna be the one to save me from myself?
You'd better bring a stun gun and perhaps a crowbar.
You'd better pack a lunch and get up really early.
And you should probably get down on your knees and pray.
It's really fun to look embarrassed all the time--
Like you could never cut the mustard with the big boys.
I really don't know who the fuck you think you are.
Can I please see your license and your registration?

I don't know what to want from this world.
I really don't know what to want from this world.
I don't know what it is you want to want from me.
You really have no right to want anything from me at all.
Why don't you take it out on somebody else?
Why don't you bore the shit out of somebody else?
Why don't you tell somebody else that they're selfish,
A weakling, coward, a pathetic fraud?

So Jesus hasn't come in here to pick you up.
You'll still be sitting right here ten years from now.
You're just a sucker, but we'll see who gets the last laugh.
Who knows? Maybe you'll get to be the next queen of Denmark.

USEFUL VOCABULARY FOR DEBATES

THE MUSHROOM HUNTERS

Science, as you know, my little one, is the study
of the nature and behaviour of the universe.
It’s based on observation, on experiment, and measurement,
and the formulation of laws to describe the facts revealed.

In the old times, they say, the men came already fitted with brains
designed to follow flesh-beasts at a run,
to hurdle blindly into the unknown,
and then to find their way back home when lost
with a slain antelope to carry between them.
Or, on bad hunting days, nothing.

The women, who did not need to run down prey,
had brains that spotted landmarks and made paths between them
left at the thorn bush and across the scree
and look down in the bole of the half-fallen tree,
because sometimes there are mushrooms.

Before the flint club, or flint butcher’s tools,
The first tool of all was a sling for the baby
to keep our hands free
and something to put the berries and the mushrooms in,
the roots and the good leaves, the seeds and the crawlers.
Then a flint pestle to smash, to crush, to grind or break.

And sometimes men chased the beasts
into the deep woods,
and never came back.

Some mushrooms will kill you,
while some will show you gods
and some will feed the hunger in our bellies. Identify.
Others will kill us if we eat them raw,
and kill us again if we cook them once,
but if we boil them up in spring water, and pour the water away,
and then boil them once more, and pour the water away,
only then can we eat them safely. Observe.

Observe childbirth, measure the swell of bellies and the shape of breasts,
and through experience discover how to bring babies safely into the world.

Observe everything.

And the mushroom hunters walk the ways they walk
and watch the world, and see what they observe.
And some of them would thrive and lick their lips,
While others clutched their stomachs and expired.
So laws are made and handed down on what is safe. Formulate.

The tools we make to build our lives:
our clothes, our food, our path home…
all these things we base on observation,
on experiment, on measurement, on truth.

And science, you remember, is the study
of the nature and behaviour of the universe,
based on observation, experiment, and measurement,
and the formulation of laws to describe these facts.
The race continues. An early scientist
drew beasts upon the walls of caves
to show her children, now all fat on mushrooms
and on berries, what would be safe to hunt.

The men go running on after beasts.

The scientists walk more slowly, over to the brow of the hill
and down to the water’s edge and past the place where the red clay runs.
They are carrying their babies in the slings they made,
freeing their hands to pick the mushrooms.

HOW TO USE THE WORD 'MIND' IN POLITE REQUESTS

AMANDA PALMER & NEIL GAIMAN - PSYCHO

Can Mary fry some fish, Mama?

I'm as hungry as can be 

Oh lordy how I wish Mama 

You would keep the baby quiet 

cause my head is killing me 

I saw my Ex again last night, Mama 

She was at the dance at Miller's store 

She was with that Jackie White, Mama 

I killed them both and they're buried under Jacob's sycamore 

You think I'm psycho, don't you, Mama? 

Pour some coffee in my cup 

You think I'm psycho, don't you Mama? 

You better let them lock me up 

Oh don't hand me Johnny's pup, Mama 

Cause I might squeeze him too tight 

I'm having crazy dreams again, Mama 

so let me tell you 'bout last night 

I woke up in Johnny's room, Mama 

standing right there by his bed 

with my hands around his throat, Mama 

wishing both of us were dead 

You think I'm psycho, dont you, Mama 

 I just killed Johnny's pup 

you think I'm psycho don't you, Mama 

You ought'a let them lock me up 

You know that little girl next door, Mama 

I believe her name is Betty Clock 

Oh, don't tell that she's dead, Mama 

cause I just saw her in the park 

We was sitting on a bench, Mama 

Thinking of a game to play 

Seems I was holding a wrench, Mama 

And then my mind just walked away 

You think I'm psycho, don't you Mama? 

Didn't mean to break your cup 

You think I'm psycho, don't you Mama? 

Mama, why won't you get up?

DEMOCRACY

In these dark days Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman found comfort and hope in the work of Leonard Cohen. Together they recorded this new version of “Democracy.” Amanda composed the piano and Neil recorded the lyrics. Their friends David Mack and Olga Nunes created this stunning video to go with the song.

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